So when I started this blog... I thought it would be a great opportunity to get all these random thoughts in my head out into the open... thus freeing up a little free space in my head. Well as can be seen in the length between posts, that hasn't been the case. I really believe that I have probably spent more time working on the layout of my blog, than actually typing entries... pitiful I know.

So where is the path leading... where is my life going. Some days I think I have a clear picture, other days I feel like just throwing my hands up in the air and waiting for the dust to settle so I can see where I've been and where I am going. It's ironic that as I near the end of my time at my job, I am busier than ever. Life is accelerating, and as a result, I feel like I'm losing control.

I'm currently re-reading a book from a philosophy class I took at A&M. It is a book of essays by Immanuel Kant (you've probably heard the name but have no clue where). In his essay "What is Enlightenment" he addresses the immaturity of man, and our inability to overcome that immaturity (or ability to become "enlightened"). He states "It is so easy to be immature. If I have a book to serve as my understanding, a pastor to serve as my conscience, a physician to determine my diet for me, and so on... I need not think, if only I can pay; others will readily undertake the irksome work for me."

That passage impressed me a great deal when I read it for class, as well as when I read it again. The only difference is now I have this cool blog to share my thoughts on it, rather than being the shy kid in the back of a philosophy class full of people philosophizing when really they had little clue what they were saying (I guess that's philosophy though). We live in a world where it is very easy to mature, or become enlightened. We can very easily fall into a lifestyle that is completely governed by others. As Kant states, we often are told our spiritual beliefs by a pastor parents, we are told how to live our lives by a doctor, a trainer, or a magazine/self-help book. We empower others to govern our lives, when in reality we should be taking greater ownership of ourselves, empowering ourselves to become who we want to be, not who somebody else believes we should be.

The irony of this is that the models these "professionals" base who we should be, make us even less an individual and more a clone of another. Why would I want to have abs like Kathy Ireland or thighs like Richard Simmons when I could have abs and calves like mine. Why should I eat the same diet that Lance Armstrong or a professional dancer on "Dancing With The Stars*" eats when I am not paid to be a professional cyclist or dancer. My job of sitting in a desk does not require me to eat gluten free foods or drink soy products, so why can't I justify "breaking out" a little and eating a 2 Cheeseburger value meal at McDonald's?

Too often our lives are governed by us striving to become somebody we were not meant to be. We are each individuals, created uniquely to serve in unique roles and functions. To uniquely impact the lives of others, and to be a unique piece in a puzzle that creates our society. It is this uniqueness that allows us to mature, to become enlightened. In his essay, Kant goes on to say "Do we presently live in an enlightened age? No, but we do live in an age of enlightenment." He said that in the late 1700s, I believe that still holds true now over 200 years later.

This thought process started as I rode the MS150 a couple of weeks ago. I wondered, how unique was I from the other 2,000 cyclists on the road. As I rode along with many of them, I realized... I was very unique... in a good way of course.

In the end my resolve for this week is to take more ownership of my life. To be the person I want to be. Maybe ride my bike because I want to, not because I have to. To eat healthy because it makes me feel better, not because I read an article about it online. I guess we'll see how "mature" I am next week... that is if I get around to writing again next week.

*For the record, I am a huge Dancing With The Stars fan.

**If you are seriously concerned with my lack of citations, I can send you my works cited...